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Well and truly pranked by my ten year old daughter…

I had to share this document with you, as it really took me by surprise.
I’m concentrating on writing my new book at the moment, the weather being not so great, and the kids have been entertaining themselves reasonably well. After a brief period of absolute quiet (which should have immediately alerted my suspicions) my daughter called me downstairs. She wanted me to read a letter. It had just been sent to all subscribers to the Jacqueline Wilson magazine, and had been received by e-mail.
This sounded entirely plausible to me, I was fresh from the keyboard and not really fully ‘switched on’ yet. My daughter got the subscription from one set of grandparents for her tenth birthday. She is a massive fan of Jacqueline Wilson’s books and has read them all (some of them many times over). I have to admit, that I had very nearly reached the end of the letter before I realised I’d been pranked. Apologies to Jacqueline Wilson, no offence was intended, but I was so taken aback by my daughter’s insight into the doubts and thought processes of an author that I really wanted to share it with you, especially fellow writers.

(Beware, none of the following information is actually true. It comes simply from the fertile imagination of a ten year old girl…)

Dear Everyone,

I do admit I’m having trouble keeping my head bent over Little Stars. Hetty is very stubborn and sometimes I wish she was nice and charming and everybody loves her. Sadly, in this book not everybody does, and I pull a thunder face at my detailed planning jotter. But, I guess Victorian Britain couldn’t always be fancy, and some people were stuck on the kerb, with only a few pennies as a day’s wage. I have never actually written a perfect story, though I get millions of fan letters. Every book that gets published is very popular, but somehow halfway through something goes wrong, and I stop typing in disgust trying to pick up the error. My daughter Emma often comes round to check on my current work. She sometimes spots the odd spelling mistake, or full stop in the wrong place. But overall everything goes well, and Emma sips her coffee always satisfied. Not every book I write makes it to the shelves. I wrote an a hundred page book called ‘Boomerang’. It was about an orphan who travelled across the world to a foster family in Australia, and their dog is wonderful. But, then the family decide to stop fostering and the orphan is sent back to England and is left on the street by an unkind man. Luckily, he gets adopted by kindly street urchins and there’s a curtain ending. I thought it would sell well, and was even working on a sequel, but there was a big tussle with the editors, and they worried it would make children paranoid. So I reluctantly tossed that idea aside. Now Little Stars is finished I’m planning a book called ‘Bullpup’ it’s meant to be about a rather ideally large boy, who gets a bulldog for Christmas, and loves it. I haven’t quite yet figured out the rest, but by plan it causes a lot of trouble… Don’t let me get too into it!

They’re thinking of making Katy into a TV series, but judging by the progress it’s going to take several months to film. They’re thinking of making Lana West Katy, but right now she’s in Bolivia and they figure it would take way too long to sort out. The BBC broadcasting team are letting CBBC know they need to keep a space open for a new show, most likely coming out at Christmas time! Christmas is so magical, last year I got a brand new ruby ring that cost a fortune from Rachel my co-editor and a handmade festive jumper from Nick Sharratt. I love buying gifts for people too. One lovely, charming fan sent me a typed up tribute to Lola Rose one of my most popular books. I sent her a free copy of my latest annual and a hand written thank you letter. I love all my fans, and don’t feel bad if you don’t get a reply from me, I’m probably too busy writing! I send these little emails onto Word Document every now and then, for those kind enough to subscribe to my magazine. In the current issue there’s a fun little quiz, where you can find out if you’re more modern, or more Victorian. I took the test, and frankly I couldn’t decide. Thank you for stopping and reading my little message to all my dear fans. I’ll try to write another letter when I have the time.

Best wishes, Jaqueline Wilson xxx

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